1st night in Ashland

Here I sit, me alone in my "posh" hotel room, which apparently is better than some staff persons' rooms. Yes! Tomorrow is registration for American Band College, a distance-learning degree through Sam Houston State University. Now, while the college itself is in Texas, about 200 of us band director types travel to Ashland, Oregon for two and a half weeks of intense learning and performing with some of the finest educators, performers and directors in the world. Should be exciting!

I have to be honest. This is a bit of an aside, but it deserves a go. I'm one of many married men who are away from their wives in order to pursue this degree. And, we should be extremely thankful that we have their trust while being away for 20 days with other potential affairs waiting to happen. Speaking of which, tonight I had the opportunity, be it good or bad, to hear other men talk to their wives on the phone, and then talk about their wives off the phone, and my very simple conclusion is that they... um... have two relationships with them. One to their face (or phone, email, whatever) that is fairly respectful, yet sometimes short. The other one (not in their presence) is quite a different story. I witnessed tonight a gentleman who talked about "the wife" a lot while making passing remarks and casting come-hither looks to the waitress at the bar we were all at.

I'm very lucky to have the relationship I have with my wife. I made the mistake one time of casually referring to her as "the wife," but then immediately repenting of it. The sound of it was disgusting to my own ears. She's not "the wife," but rather "my wife." In fact, she's my friend. And, my conversation in and out of her presence needs to reflect that. I'd be very disappointed if my regular friends talked about me different from the way they talk to me. Imaging what that would feel like if it were your own spouse/partner/best-friend/mate. I'd be, well... frankly, devastated.

Now, I like meeting new people and making new friends. However, I'm careful to realize two things. 1 - I'm married to an awesome person who gives me so much undeserved respect, and I need to be sure to reflect that to her. 2 - People who flirt around when away from their spouses are only stating how they really feel about their spouse (soon-t0-be or already-is). That sends a very damaging message to those who see it from the outside - you cannot be trusted. Do yourself a favor and show love to your spouse. You'll be amazed at how the relationship works when you do.

Ok, enough for now. See you tomorrow!